Pictures! You know… if I knew then what I knew now…that I would still be wanting the life I have always pictured for myself I think I would have never have gained so much confidence, tanicity, and wisdom. Who would have thought the pictures that I had in my head as a little girl would still be the same pictures I still have now. I would always think everyone else I knew had it all figured out and that I wish I was like them knowing what I want, setting out a path for myself, planning my future, making a decent income,but for some reason I realize now that I was stuck in a cycle. I remember constantly going back to my sketch pad writing out my tree diagrams trying to understand what I wanted and some how make it into fruition and how I was constantly telling myself, that I cant do this because I’m not smart enough, I cant do that because its to risky, my family would never approve, and the list goes on and on. Constant ruminating of thoughts of how stuck I was in my own head like a never-ending merry-go-around, like Alice sliding down the rabbit hole except not only was she not finding her way out but that she didnt know she was in a cycle to begin with and that I was just dealing with my own insecurities and that I didnt need to share everything to my family and friends and that privacy is a blessing in itself. I realize now how sheltered I was from the world that I could not experience alot of the things I wanted to but along the lines the universe allowed me to experience some of these things but in its own unique fashion under the circumstances that I was in. No matter how much money I would save, or plan I had for my future it never followed through…correction I never followed through because the truth is… well, I didn’t know where to go once I got there. I would constantly go to school, take courses, get certificates, get experience in those fields and guess what still nothing. I must have lived 10 different lives, identities, titles, looks that I didnt dig deep enough and realize what truly made me happy. That once I got to where I was I didnt like the picture that I was in. Well at least I got a couple of back up plans under my belt, but this, this blog, this site, this online business is the moment of all truths, a make it or break it kind of deal, the end to all cycles because guess what the picture is still there and its not going to go away. It will stay there and stay there until you manifest your goals, your affirmation, your dreams into reality because the truth is no one else will.
A.H.😊
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Amana Hamdan 